Wednesday, June 26, 2013

10 Commandments of Squirrel Stalking.....

The stalking of squirrels is a time honored Blood Sport,
and one I learned early from my deceased brother Buster.
Though I'm full blood Terrier, and so predisposed to the finer Nose Arts,
there was much to learn in the tactical and vocal departments.....
He taught me very well!
Learning the BeoWolf trumpet, when chasing your prey, 
is a rite of passage for every rodent hunter.
AAaaaRroooooo..........
Sparky Squirrel.....Here I come!

Below are my 10 Rules for the Squirrel Fight Club:

 The #1 Rule about Squirrel Fight Club is 
     We do NOT talk about Fight Club.....
 The Second Rule about Squirrel Fight Club is
     WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!!

Now that we have that out of the way:

#3 Maintain maximum aerobic fitness.....STAY BUFF for speed!
#4 Keep your eyes peeled at all times.....VIGILANCE is KEY!
#5 Stay low profile until the chase is on.....move in very S-L-O-W-L-Y.
#6 The fatter the squirrel, the easier (and TASTY!) the catch.
#7 Encourage Mom to set the bird feeder in a tactical position.
     Bird food is a great trap.....More bird food = fatter squirrel.
#8 Ninja moves DO NOT work on rodents.....stick with the Stalking Method.
#9 Don't let your prey get anywhere near a tree.....
     If you do, you've lost him!
     (In case you haven't noticed, we canines were not born to
     climb, or fly.....Trees are the DMZ for us)
#10 When, or IF, you are ever lucky enough to bag this game,
     DON'T LET GO !!! 
     (Squirrels, like cats,are nasty little snots and are known to have 9 lives!) 
MICK'S TIP:
Make sure to have lunch at home, cuz squirrel snacks may 
or may not be served......Sometimes, Sparky WINS!